I'm tired of not being taken seriously.

It sucks, not being taken seriously. You say what's on your mind and you're given weird faces. I don't know whether it's me and how I have portrayed myself that has given people the impression that I am incapable of processing a situation, reaching a conclusion, etc. or people don't follow me but... ugh. It's frustrating. I am no longer a fucking child.

Affection

It's the way two bodies intertwine with one another when led by either lust, affection or a combination of the two. It's the way people's lips lock and move in sync with one another, supporting each other, leading each other. It's when a hug becomes more than a mutual greeting, when it's held long without the impulse of letting go as both people's thoughts run and past experiences are remembered. It's having the ability to possess feelings for someone. It's the yearning for intimacy we're hardwired with.. it's "love."

I grabbed an Arizona and a few grapes from the fridge and slipped through the front door, unnoticed. I stood on my longboard and pushed forward before they'd notice. I was to go somewhere far away, to surround myself with the peace and tranquility I knew only solitude could bring. The wind blowing my hair into my mouth and sight of passing cars made me feel as though the chains of the restrictions and limitations brought by juvenility had been broken. I was tired of being considered a child, of having my privacy invaded by an overly concerned mother. I had no time to myself, and wanted to spend the last few minutes of the year in a way I'd truly be content - no, happy. I didn't want to be content or "ok" any longer. I wanted to be genuinely happy, even if it was for those few minutes. After my legs ached from pushing onward, I finally halted on an empty street and laid down on the board. After a few minutes of drinking tea and relishing on memories of the past year, my phone's alarm went off. Happy New Year.

This had only been a fantasy. I looked at my image in the mirror as I burned my hair and lathered makeup on. I was about to spend New Years with family, people who I had to be cautious around, people who I wasn't comfortable around. I'd have to eat food I didn't want to, I would have the fact that I was drinking non-alcoholic apple cider repeated in a jestful manner from the adults and I would be spending time around children I would rather not have been around. Happy New Year.

That feeling of...

feeling as though you no longer know someone... not being able to walk up to them and do that handshake you used to do. It's as though you haven't got a place in their lives anymore. You aren't sure where things went wrong, either. I'm tired of being confused. "Fuck it." sigh If only it were that simple. You saw me in ways no one else had. What I learned from you had a huge impact on what I would make of future decisions. Thank you for that. What's in the past is in the past, though. Friends come and go. Life goes on, all that shit.

Head bowed, I stared at the sand beneath my feet as I walked along the park's shore. Almost instantly, the waves would roll by in their continuous cycle and wash away my footsteps, any evidence that I was ever there. Instantaneously, I realized then that the same would eventually happen with everything I knew. Everything we know is merely a minute snippet of history. Evidence of us ever existing would eventually be washed away as well. In the case of my footsteps, it would only take a few seconds. As for how long it will take for evidence of us, only time will tell.